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My disrupted sensory world: caught between too much and not enough

One of my oldest memories is watching tiny floating dust particles in the light of my bedroom window. That sight fascinated me. And yet, for most of my life, my sensory sensitivities have been my greatest struggle. They were the main trigger for my autistic meltdowns. When I experienced my first autistic burnout, my sensory hypersensitivities intensified to the point where I described them as “broken.” Things that used to bother me mildly — or things I had adapted to — suddenly became unbearable. Since sensory sensitivities are a core part of the diagnostic criteria and a major aspect of autistic life, it feels important to explain them and share my experience.

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