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    • Spectrum & Cycles

    Chronicles from an atypical mind — Unfiltered and unapologetic

    Bipolar disorder

    Autism Bipolar disorder

    Double-edged creativity: when autism and bipolar disorder intertwine

    Florent No Comments

    This article follows the one describing graphorrhea. In August 2019, the manager of Nintendo-Master.com (which I had completely redesigned and then left five years earlier) calls me for help: the site is collapsing in terms of traffic, plagued by a whole range of bugs, and needs another overhaul. I have just been hospitalized for the first time and have developed a full manic episode. Out of love for the site, I jump at the opportunity: it’s time to put my skills to use again. En garde!

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    Bipolar disorder

    World Bipolar Day: raising awareness in one day for something that lasts a lifetime

    Florent No Comments

    Today is World Bipolar Day. And honestly, I don’t really relate to it. I’ve never changed my profile picture to add a small ribbon, I’ve never used it as an opportunity to raise awareness, and I’ve never taken part in events around this day. Although I understand that it may be meaningful for some, I’ve always struggled to see the value of these awareness days.

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    Autism Bipolar disorder

    Journey #2: Identifying Giftedness

    Florent No Comments

    “What do you think about the outcome of these tests?” the neuropsychologist in charge of my IQ assessment asked me. I will always remember that moment. At that instant, I hoped that identifying giftedness would be enough to rule out the bipolar cause. So I answered, naturally, that I suspected a confirmation of giftedness. I was right. I was formally identified as very highly gifted by a neuropsychologist… and I believed it would resolve all my difficulties.

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    Bipolar disorder

    Manic graphorrhea: writing as I breathe

    Florent No Comments

    In mid-2025, a hypomanic episode began. It quickly turned into a full manic episode. The first sign, which went unnoticed: a compulsion to write. Mania did not generate creativity. It amplified it. It created an unbearable need to write continuously, to the point of forgetting to sleep. I wrote dozens of pages every day. Sometimes I tried to rest, only to open my eyes wide and open my laptop to unload new literary ideas.

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    Bipolar disorder

    Journey #1: The Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder

    Florent No Comments

    My diagnostic journey began at 21. Well, technically, I saw a psychologist when I was 6. After only a few sessions studying me, she concluded that nothing could be done with me and the follow-up stopped. Stellar professional work, you might say (sarcasm). I still remember refusing to follow her instructions because they seemed absurd to me. At 16 and a half, I gradually developed grandiose ideas, I chained projects together, I drew, I wrote, my grades dropped. That turned out to be my first manic episode, sprinkled with a touch of psychosis. It was also the beginning of a long epic.

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    Autism Bipolar disorder Featured

    When love becomes sensory overload

    Florent No Comments

    A former friend once asked me how I perceived being in love. I replied that it was “a whole lot of unpleasant sensations in the body.” I had not yet been diagnosed, and it amused him a great deal. He had never heard that kind of description before, and my answer was instinctive. I myself think I had indeed never encountered this description elsewhere (I had even researched it thoroughly, like a diligent student, to break it down).

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    Bipolar disorder Journal

    crash.execute(): account of a depressive episode

    Florent No Comments

    It is well known to almost all people with bipolar disorder, some experiencing it far more often than their (hypo)manic episodes and very often for much longer. While a hypomanic episode may last only a few days, depression can last for months. I discuss it in detail in a dedicated article. I have experienced it an incalculable number of times, notably due to the rapid-cycling nature of my bipolar disorder, and I present here the account of one of them.

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    Bipolar disorder Journal

    fatal.error(): account of a mixed episode

    Florent No Comments

    Less discussed in the literature yet experienced by 40% of bipolar individuals at least once in their lives, the mixed episode can sometimes appear without warning but often between a manic episode and a depressive episode. I discussed in a dedicated article how this episode presents both (hypo)manic and depressive characteristics. Here, I recount my experience of a mixed episode that was devastating.

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    Bipolar disorder Journal

    illusion.load(): an account of a hypomanic episode

    Florent No Comments

    Following my articles on episodes of bipolar disorder, it is time to illustrate them with a vivid and raw narrative. This article will be the first in a chronological series recounting my lived experience of the bipolar cycles that haunt my life. Hypomania may seem appealing, but it represents my first danger. It makes me productive, yet it is also the earliest warning sign. Because hypomania often gives rise to a succession of phases leading to an almost inevitable final crash.

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    Vous avez raté

    Autism Bipolar disorder

    Double-edged creativity: when autism and bipolar disorder intertwine

    Autism

    Journey #3: The Diagnosis of Autism 

    Bipolar disorder

    World Bipolar Day: raising awareness in one day for something that lasts a lifetime

    Journal Pause — Autisticisms

    Pause — Autisticisms #3: False Patterns & Real Error