sensory issues

My sunglasses against sensory noise

Recently, I went to the MDPH (French disability support and benefits office) in a region where a cyberattack had wiped out all their electronic files. The waiting room was crowded and loud. Instinctively, I put my sunglasses back on. My caseworker looked surprised, but my mother burst out laughing—she immediately understood what was happening. It was compensation. I needed to be able to hear my number being called and then hear the person at the desk. Noise-canceling headphones weren’t an option. So instead, I used my sunglasses to reduce—not the sound itself—but the overall sensory load my brain was processing.

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The invisible senses

I’ve already talked about the five main senses (hearing, sight, touch, smell, taste), but the human body has several others — most notably four: the vestibular system, proprioception, nociception, and thermoception. The last one you know well: it’s the reason you turn into an ice cube in winter and a boiling pot in summer. In autistic people, these senses are often altered in the same way as the five primary ones. Yet these so-called invisible senses shape our everyday experience. When they are atypical — as is often the case in autism — they can turn ordinary situations into a full emotional and sensory rollercoaster.

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My disrupted sensory world: caught between too much and not enough

One of my oldest memories is watching tiny floating dust particles in the light of my bedroom window. That sight fascinated me. And yet, for most of my life, my sensory sensitivities have been my greatest struggle. They were the main trigger for my autistic meltdowns. When I experienced my first autistic burnout, my sensory hypersensitivities intensified to the point where I described them as “broken.” Things that used to bother me mildly — or things I had adapted to — suddenly became unbearable. Since sensory sensitivities are a core part of the diagnostic criteria and a major aspect of autistic life, it feels important to explain them and share my experience.

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