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    Why I’ll Soon Be Writing About Bipolar Disorder on This Autism-Focused Blog

    This blog is not intended to talk only about autism. From the beginning, when the idea for this project emerged, I hoped to provide a rare and in-depth testimony about two of my conditions: autism and bipolar disorder. Why rare? Simply because I noticed how drastically the literature lacks first-person accounts from people living with both conditions, even though this comorbidity is actually quite common — with bipolar disorder being even more frequent among autistic people than allistic individuals. And in-depth, because I intended to share my experience honestly and without filter through a long series of articles detailing what it means to live with both conditions.

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    Meltdown: the autistic explosion

    If shutdown is the implosion, meltdown is the explosion. A visible, loud, and often misunderstood crisis. The stereotype of the autistic person banging their head against a wall is common. For many autistic individuals, this is a real experience — but it is not universal. Still, many autistic people experience these crises to varying degrees and frequencies. A meltdown generates an intense emotional discharge that can leave the autistic person completely drained of energy. After discussing autistic crises more broadly, this article focuses specifically on meltdowns.

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    Shutdown: the autistic implosion

    Autistic crises are an integral part of life for many autistic people. After discussing them broadly in a previous article, it’s important to describe them in detail, starting with shutdowns, often described as autistic collapse or social withdrawal. A shutdown is also defined as autistic withdrawal, an involuntary response triggered by sensory or emotional overload. Yet the reality goes far beyond simple withdrawal — it is a neurological reaction in autistic individuals, designed to short-circuit an overload the brain perceives as danger.

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    Interludes: Cambodia #4 — Laughter, bugs, and other social glitches

    Sometimes the best fits of laughter come from pure randomness. I’m continuing my trip through Cambodia with my friends, passing through Skun — the town of fried tarantulas — and a deluxe hotel at 20 euros a night, just for the experience. These past two weeks, I’ve cried from laughing at least once a day. Goal: one daily tear-inducing laugh during these 25 days of travel.

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    Interludes: Cambodia #3 — Understanding Without Words

    Almost two weeks spent in Cambodia. A few autistic crises along the way, but above all a lot of laughter with my friends (sometimes to the point of crying) and discoveries I had missed during my two-month end-of-studies internship in the country back in 2017. This week was also an opportunity to reflect on a number of subjects that matter a lot to me: languages, what it really means to travel abroad when you’re completely out of your depth, and even theory of mind (spoiler alert: it was the allistic side that failed this time). A rich and introspective interlude.

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    Interludes: Cambodia #2 — From crisis to laughter

    It’s now been a week since I arrived in Cambodia — just as I mentioned in my first article, the day before leaving. This is actually my return to the country, where I previously completed a humanitarian internship and lived among Cambodians, fully immersed in their culture and way of life. This time, I arrived with a small group of friends. For the first few days, we chose rest mode and discovery of the capital: four days in Phnom Penh, and a scooter trip to Skuon — the town of tarantulas — about one hour away. Perfect for October (Halloween season) and for triggering gag reflexes in the faint-hearted. These interludes serve as a breath of air in my blog — and as a way of sharing an experience that is far more sensory than it first appears.

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    Interludes: Cambodia #1 — Back to orderly chaos, through an autistic lens

    8 years after the most incredible trip of my life, I’m returning to Cambodia tomorrow — a country whose culture fascinated me, whose kindness almost unsettled me, and whose culinary experiences were endlessly delicious. Ever since planning this trip, I’ve been bringing up (partly as a running joke) the famous fried tarantulas from Skuon — undeniably one of my greatest discoveries. A few months ago, I managed to convince a few friends to choose Cambodia as our travel destination.

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    My sunglasses against sensory noise

    Recently, I went to the MDPH (French disability support and benefits office) in a region where a cyberattack had wiped out all their electronic files. The waiting room was crowded and loud. Instinctively, I put my sunglasses back on. My caseworker looked surprised, but my mother burst out laughing—she immediately understood what was happening. It was compensation. I needed to be able to hear my number being called and then hear the person at the desk. Noise-canceling headphones weren’t an option. So instead, I used my sunglasses to reduce—not the sound itself—but the overall sensory load my brain was processing.

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