Spectrum & Cycles

Chronicles of an Atypical Mind — Unfiltered and Unapologetic

Personal stories, science-based articles, and resources on autism, bipolar disorder, and atypical cognition.

2025

Man thinking and writing articles, with a tall stack on the left (autism) and a shorter stack on the right (bipolar disorder)
Bipolar disorderJournal

Why I’ll soon be writing about bipolar disorder on this autism-focused blog

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This blog is not intended to talk only about autism. From the beginning, when the idea for this project emerged, I hoped to provide a rare and in-depth testimony about two of my conditions: autism and bipolar disorder. Why rare? Simply because I noticed how drastically the literature lacks first-person accounts from people living with both conditions, even though this comorbidity is actually quite common — with bipolar disorder being even more frequent among autistic people than allistic individuals. And in-depth, because I intended to share my experience honestly and without filter through a long series of articles detailing what it means to live with both conditions.

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Illustration of an exhausted woman, sitting in the dark, her arm resting on a table with neatly aligned objects vs chaos
Man sitting down, screaming in the middle of a meltdown
Autism

Meltdown: the autistic explosion

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If shutdown is the implosion, meltdown is the explosion. A visible, loud, and often misunderstood crisis. The stereotype of the autistic person banging their head against a wall is common. For many autistic individuals, this is a real experience — but it is not universal. Still, many autistic people experience these crises to varying degrees and frequencies. A meltdown generates an intense emotional discharge that can leave the autistic person completely drained of energy. After discussing autistic crises more broadly, this article focuses specifically on meltdowns.

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Illustration of a man under a blanket in the dark
Autism

Shutdown: the autistic implosion

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Autistic crises are an integral part of life for many autistic people. After discussing them broadly in a previous article, it’s important to describe them in detail, starting with shutdowns, often described as autistic collapse or social withdrawal. A shutdown is also defined as autistic withdrawal, an involuntary response triggered by sensory or emotional overload. Yet the reality goes far beyond simple withdrawal — it is a neurological reaction in autistic individuals, designed to short-circuit an overload the brain perceives as danger.

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Man sitting with his headphones on, head against the wall, in a dark room
Autism

Shutdown and meltdown: understanding autistic crises

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In the collective imagination, an autistic person is someone withdrawn, exceptional at math, calm, and rocking back and forth. What many people don’t realize is that autistic individuals can also experience intense emotional outbursts (meltdowns) and internal shutdowns (shutdowns). These crises have various causes, but sensory overload is the most common trigger.

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Edited photo of a stack of banknotes (Cambodian riels)
InterludesJournal

Interludes: Cambodia #4 — laughter, bugs, and other social glitches

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Sometimes the best fits of laughter come from pure randomness. I’m continuing my trip through Cambodia with my friends, passing through Skun — the town of fried tarantulas — and a deluxe hotel at 20 euros a night, just for the experience. These past two weeks, I’ve cried from laughing at least once a day. Goal: one daily tear-inducing laugh during these 25 days of travel.

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Reworked illustration of me sitting next to a cat in front of Angkor Wat
InterludesJournal

Interludes: Cambodia #3 — understanding without words

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Almost two weeks spent in Cambodia. A few autistic crises along the way, but above all a lot of laughter with my friends (sometimes to the point of crying) and discoveries I had missed during my two-month end-of-studies internship in the country back in 2017. This week was also an opportunity to reflect on a number of subjects that matter a lot to me: languages, what it really means to travel abroad when you’re completely out of your depth, and even theory of mind (spoiler alert: it was the allistic side that failed this time). A rich and introspective interlude.

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Edited illustration based on a photo of a tuk-tuk driver in his rear-view mirror
InterludesJournal

Interludes: Cambodia #2 — from crisis to laughter

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It’s now been a week since I arrived in Cambodia — just as I mentioned in my first article, the day before leaving. This is actually my return to the country, where I previously completed a humanitarian internship and lived among Cambodians, fully immersed in their culture and way of life. This time, I arrived with a small group of friends. For the first few days, we chose rest mode and discovery of the capital: four days in Phnom Penh, and a scooter trip to Skuon — the town of tarantulas — about one hour away. Perfect for October (Halloween season) and for triggering gag reflexes in the faint-hearted. These interludes serve as a breath of air in my blog — and as a way of sharing an experience that is far more sensory than it first appears.

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Edited illustration based on a photo of Angkor Wat
InterludesJournal

Interludes: Cambodia #1 — back to orderly chaos, through an autistic lens

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8 years after the most incredible trip of my life, I’m returning to Cambodia tomorrow — a country whose culture fascinated me, whose kindness almost unsettled me, and whose culinary experiences were endlessly delicious. Ever since planning this trip, I’ve been bringing up (partly as a running joke) the famous fried tarantulas from Skuon — undeniably one of my greatest discoveries. A few months ago, I managed to convince a few friends to choose Cambodia as our travel destination.

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Walking down the street with my headphones and sunglasses on
Autism

Autism: my everyday sensory strategies

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Recently, I visited my local disability support office in France in a region where a cyberattack had wiped out all their electronic files. The waiting room was crowded and loud. Instinctively, I put my sunglasses back on. My caseworker looked surprised, but my mother burst out laughing—she immediately understood what was happening. It was compensation. I needed to be able to hear my number being called and then hear the person at the desk. Noise-canceling headphones weren’t an option. So instead, I used my sunglasses to reduce—not the sound itself—but the overall sensory load my brain was processing.

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