Shutdown and meltdown: understanding autistic crises
In the collective imagination, an autistic person is someone withdrawn, exceptional at math, calm, and rocking back and forth. What…
👋 New here? Start here →
Featured
Autistic burnout: when the body says stop
Autistic burnout, in a few words, feels like a long-term complete shutdown. It often follows sensory, emotional, or cognitive overload…
When love becomes sensory overload
A former friend once asked me how I perceived being in love. I replied that it was “a whole lot…
Explore based on your situation
Choose a path to dive deeper into the topics that concern you.
fatal.error(): account of a mixed episode
Florent Less discussed in the literature yet experienced by 40% of bipolar individuals at least once in their lives, the mixed episode can sometimes appear without warning but often between a manic episode and a depressive episode. I discussed in a dedicated article how this episode presents both (hypo)manic and depressive characteristics. Here, I recount my experience of a mixed episode that was devastating.
Survival Guide in a Foreign Country: Tasting Local Without Ever Encountering Reality
A brief breather between two serious articles. Here is an ironic guide based on my latest trip, where I observed how one can travel abroad… without ever really encountering the country.
My trip to Cambodia has come to an end. I was there with a small group of very good friends. I had gone for immersion, for the journey more than for the vacation. We obviously didn’t all share that vision. There were some frictions, and I ended up listing everything I was observing around me. So I put together a survival guide for you to never experience Cambodian reality while in the country, and to keep enjoying a dream trip by living everywhere with five times the local standard of living. Buckle up — it’s sometimes more subtle than it seems.
chaos.start(): an account of a manic episode
Mania may seem seductive, but it destroys (even neurons). After detailing manic episodes in bipolar disorder, and in order to illustrate them, I chose to describe one as I experience it. My goal is to show its raw reality. When I take a manic turn, my brain functions like a program whose objective is to destroy its host.
illusion.load(): an account of a hypomanic episode
Following my articles on episodes of bipolar disorder, it is time to illustrate them with a vivid and raw narrative. This article will be the first in a chronological series recounting my lived experience of the bipolar cycles that haunt my life. Hypomania may seem appealing, but it represents my first danger. It makes me productive, yet it is also the earliest warning sign. Because hypomania often gives rise to a succession of phases leading to an almost inevitable final crash.
Depression: Symptoms, Lived Experience, and Interactions with Autism
After the (hypo)manic episode or the mixed episode, depression arrives. Almost systematically. And the higher one flies, the more violent the final crash. The depressive episode is the bipolar episode that speaks most clearly even to those unfamiliar with the disorder. Literature and science have addressed it in thousands of articles. It is better known simply as depression. Between 13 and 20% of the population (according to Wikipedia) will experience it at least once in their lifetime. It is an integral part of bipolar disorder and haunts the lives of those who suffer from it.
Mixed episode: Symptoms, Lived Experience, and Interactions with Autism
The mixed episode is probably the most terrifying episode of bipolar disorder. Some will tell you that if they put themselves in the gravest danger, the mixed episode was likely the precursor. Less than half of people with bipolar disorder will experience such an episode at least once in their lifetime. The accounts and testimonies of those affected are chilling. Long considered an episode specific to bipolar type I, it is now known that all types are concerned.
Pause — Autisticisms #2: Cinema & Absurd Rigor
A short Autisticism pause to evoke this time a rocambolesque situation linked to my rigidity regarding rules—especially those in movie theaters—which are nevertheless displayed in huge letters with icons on a blue background in the UGC cinemas I go to, just before the film starts. Namely: avoid talking during the film, put your phone in airplane mode. For some people, these rules are apparently mere suggestions. Some of them did not see the scene I’m about to recount coming.
Mania: Symptoms, Lived Experience, and Interactions with Autism
The manic episode, for all people with bipolar type I, often is the logical continuation of the hypomanic episode. Sleep is drastically reduced and energy multiplies. The person seems to behave more and more abnormally. While hypomania can go more unnoticed, the manic episode completely alters the functioning of the bipolar person. The individual appears extremely euphoric, laughs very easily, makes puns, jumps from one idea to another, multiplies projects, has grandiose ideas, and in the most severe cases, may decompensate (psychosis).
Hypomania: Symptoms, Lived Experience, and Interactions with Autism
To begin my series of articles on bipolar disorder episodes, I thought about presenting them to you in chronological order, reflecting their cycle. Hypomania is the first euphoric (or irritable) phase of this condition. It sometimes progresses either into mania (in bipolar disorder type I) or into depression. Hypomania — which can manifest in two drastically different ways — is what we’ll focus on in this article. I’ve experienced a large number of hypomanic episodes that turned me into a production machine, a walking factory.
Neurodiversity: definition, origins, and issues
Judy Singer, an autistic sociologist, gave birth to the concept of neurodiversity in the 1990s. The idea: acknowledging that cognitive diversity is part of human diversity, just like social, cultural, or even biological diversity. Initially focused on autism, it later expanded to include other conditions and, eventually, other mental disorders. Today, this movement has had a strong impact on the autistic community and on public perception of autism, but it is also subject to controversy.